Baby Clock

My body really has a mind of its own.

I know I don't want more kids. I've made that decision. We have, together. Reason: we don't think it's responsible for us, in our situation, to bring another child into the world who has a very, very high chance of being moderately to severely autistic. Plus, we're not in a financial position to do it, our car wouldn't accommodate a third child, our house wouldn't accommodate a third child, blah blah blah.

And yet, my body has a mind of its own.

No, I'm not pregnant, thank God. But I'm telling you, my alarm clock has been buzzing for months. I'm having dreams in which previously-decided-upon Oprisko names #3 and #4 have bodies, and in which I can physically and vividly feel my milk let down. I mean, come on! I do not want this. And yet my body is telling me I do.

Men just think women are crazy. All obsessive and stuff. See, we're not, actually. Our bodies are built to make babies, and if we're not doing it, they buzz until we do. Guys, we promise we're not the ones doing the obsessing. It's the uterus.

I'm thinking of taking it out myself.