Numb Much?

Trying to hold it together, here.

I mean, I am holding it together. And I'm not nearly as emotional as I was earlier in the week, but seriously. This week has been so absurd in the way of stress, I have to share it here, just so you can go "whoa" with me. M'kay?

First, the weekend was a whirlwind trip to Mansfield, Cleveland, and Fort Wayne. It was all stuff I wouldn't have missed for the world, but it all took place in one weekend, which we figured out how to do. I was kinda proud of us, and I don't regret a single moment of participation in any of it.

Then. There was that whole speeding ticket thing on Monday. That same day, I found out my grandma was in the hospital struggling to breathe and suffering from mysterious heart palpitations and reactions to prescription meds...two states away from me. And because of it, Mom and Dad's trip this weekend for Nora's preschool program and Easter might not happen at all. Oi.

Tuesday, we were expecting house guests I'd never actually met. They're dear friends of George's from college who were a bit before my time, and they hadn't seen each other in 8 years. It had to happen, you know? Anyway, there ended up being a change of plans in who was picking up Nora from preschool and I had to tell her over the phone from Lafayette, where I was with William at his therapy. She didn't take it all too well, so I opted to just go home, work on cleaning for our guests, and pick her up myself. Then I'd travel 45 minutes to pick up William, and 45 minutes home. On my way home the first time, I called Mom for news of Grandma, which turned out to be not so good. And if Grandma doesn't make it? Now we've gotta have a talk with Nora about death, and why she won't see Ma anymore. When we hung up, I suddenly lost feeling in all my extremities. Um, I'm gonna go out on a limb here and call that a bad sign.

I  knew it was because of the onset of additional stress, so I just tried to concentrate on slow, deep breaths. It didn't get a lot better, but better enough I didn't feel unsafe driving.

I had an OBGYN appointment the next day, so I happened to mention that experience. She said, "oh, yeah, you were hyperventilating." Me: "But I wasn't gasping for air or breathing hard or anything..." Her: "You just weren't getting enough oxygen. That's what happens in hyperventilation, and that's why your hands and feet went numb." Oh, good. So the slow-deep-breath approach was the right way to go, then...

Tuesday night, we experienced the storm of the year. You know, the kind you drive through town dodging 200-year-old oak trees strewn about, people's siding littered all over yards, half the town needing roof work. Fortunately, all we lost from it was our electricity. Really, that coulda been a lot worse. But, ah...no power while hosting friends I never met before, and something like 4 hours' sleep. Yeah.

Wednesday, I found out Grandma's going to be okay. Tests came back clear, we're pretty much good. Biggest thing that needs addressed is stressors and calming methods.

So yeah. Grandma? Maybe we can work on calming down together. I've never been so stressed out in my life, and my body's freaking out, too. Since November, I've experienced chest pressure, difficulty breathing, hair loss (yeah, I said it. I'm not talking hair stuck all over the back of my shirt--I mean clumps), dizziness, extreme fatigue (like the kind you feel on Benedryl), and now, apparently, no feeling in my extremities. If I don't get myself together, I'm gonna have a freaking heart attack.