How to make dinner with two small children underfoot

#1) Move thawed chicken from kitchen sink to cutting board. Yes, you actually thought of that a couple hours ago instead of a few minutes ago.

#2) Wash hands.

#3) Pour raisins for smallest child tugging at your leg.

#4) Pick up chicken again.

#5) Put down chicken.

#6) Rescue smaller child's raisins from having the contents of an open sippy cup (how did he do that?!) poured over top. With your wrists.

#7) Pick up chicken. Reach behind you with other hand for paper towels.

#8) Yell upstairs for larger child to get off the potty--where she's been for the past fifteen minutes--to come clear her "nest" (pile of toy cars, puzzles, yarn, three buttons, and five Mardi Gras necklaces) out from under your feet.

#9) Get back on your feet.

#10) Put chicken safely on cutting board and wash hands.

#11) Congratulate yourself for not dropping the chicken.

#12) Soap up a washcloth and scrub all the places on your cupboards and floor where chicken juice sprayed on your way down.

#13) Get out knife.

#14) Run upstairs to help larger child with toilet paper. Time in bathroom is now up to 25 minutes, most of it spent singing.

#15) Run back downstairs, start heat on burner.

#16) Run back upstairs.

#17) Pull smaller child's shoes out of toilet.

#18) Run back downstairs.

#19) Start load of laundry.

#20) Wrangle knife from smaller child's hands. Yes, apparently he CAN reach that high.

#21) Check the time.

#22) Order Chinese.