Okay, maybe not obese, but maaaaaan. I have gained it back. Every last weasly pound. Way to go, Maura. Not just anyone could accomplish that in five days.
George, God bless him, insists that I don't look like I've gained it back. But I do. I totally look like I've skipped five days at the gym. Worse, actually. And when I went back today, it was like I was going to end up injured if I didn't bump my weights down. My joints felt out of control and everything.
So, just in case you haven't gotten that impression yet, my gym time this morning was very discouraging. It was a fight start to finish and didn't even make me feel like "yeah!" at the end. It made me feel inclined to do it again just to punish my fat, lazy butt. Ugh. I didn't, fyi.
I'm not all depressed, or like, at risk for an eating disorder. I'm just mad at myself. I'm angry that I haven't taken care of myself. I've given myself too many byes, I've eaten too much junk, I've gone to bed too late to get up in the morning, and the results are right there on my thighs and on my belly. And that's just the stuff I can see. I keep this up, and I'm going to put myself right back where I don't want to be mentally. It's time to turn it around.
I'm going to do it. I'm scared. Hold my hand please. Here goes:
No more ice cream until the Fourth of July. No more sugary snacks after the kids go to bed. Bedtime is 10:30, doesn't matter how little time I've spent with my husband or how much I really, really want to finish this movie.
Ugh. That feels like a punch to the gut. Maybe it is. That's probably good. My gut could use a few hits.
Guess what I recently remembered? Fruit! It is sweet and delicious! I've started bringing a yummy California sunkist orange with me to the couch in the evening. I burn calories in my struggle to get the peel off and then drip the juice down my shirt as I eat it. Perfect. :)
ReplyDeleteAnd you're beautiful. Don't forget that.
Lol. I love you. Oranges sound really, really good. I think next week I'm going to go and spend like $50 on fruit. That sounds perfect.
ReplyDeleteThanks.
When your view of yourself is low, listen to the ones who love you. So, you fell off the wagon and getting back on is a little rough. *shrug* It's over and done with. You can only change your actions today, not your actions from yesterday. Maybe you mentally needed a little break. Maybe not. But kicking yourself will only make your mental state worse, not better. If it was easy, we'd all be skinny. You are beautiful. Keep working. The road is long and hard. Don't add beating yourself up to it.
ReplyDeleteGood call, Becky. :)
ReplyDelete