Today is a day of barely-noticeable improvements. It's enough for me, I think. It has to be. Perhaps God is teaching me something about contentment with life as a slow, slow process.
I noticed today in my workout that my core feels strong. Not like it used to be. Not, like, I could be a 26-inch waist if I flexed my insides. But it was enough to notice. I think it's all those nasty plank things I've been doing. I hate them, but if this is the beginning of payoff, I might have to keep this up.
Also, William had his second therapy session today, and it followed suit with my core. It was enough improvement to notice. In fact, his DT (Developmental Therapist) was making a really, really big deal over every little thing. That was encouraging, actually. It reminded me to make that big of a deal over his every improvement. I've noticed, too, when I cheer if he's done something new, he immediately makes eye contact with me, and his face lights up. It's like he's thinking, "Yeah! She noticed!" And anything that gets him making eye contact is worth repeating.
Anyway, you know those little toys that have Disney characters behind a closed door that flips up when you push a button, turn a dial, flip a switch, etc.? Last week, he opened two doors. This week, he opened three. Like I said, improvement. Just enough to notice, but...better, nonetheless.
I have moments I'm set to panic when I see kids around his age--younger, even--who can do things he's not even close to. How in the world is he ever going to catch up?, I think to myself. And it's days like these that remind me just how important those little differences are. Yeah, they're little, and yeah, he didn't catch his peers today. But I've seen how fast he learned the sign for "more," how fast he started showing interest in imitating once we really worked on it, how much better he is this week than two weeks ago at pointing. I have every reason to believe in my son. I know he can do it. I do.
And, quite frankly, if he can do it, I can, too. My body may be coming back at the pace of traffic in January...but it's coming back. I may be getting a hold on my moods slowly, and with a lot of failing in between, but I'm getting a hold of it.
We're gonna get there. Me and him. All of us.
My girlfriend's daughter has developmental issues. 6 months ago, we had all but given up on potty training. She was 5 and didn't care or notice when she wet herself. But her therapist said to keep trying. So, we tried a new method that I actually learned from raising puppies. They also don't notice or care when they're young. And for awhile nothing changed. And then one day we noticed that she wasn't always wet when we took her potty. A month ago, we started putting her in underwear. I think we had a heart attack the first time she kept the underwear dry. As I sit here writing this, I'm still shocked. 6 months ago I didn't think this was possible. I had started looking into options to get diapers that would accomodate a big kids pottying. I was so close to giving up on her.
ReplyDeleteYesterday she asked if I would teach her to play softball like me. Her coordination is poor and she may never be an all-star athlete. But I'm gonna go get her a glove and start working on it with her. Who am I to say she can't do anything? Maybe she will catch up and pass her peers, and maybe she won't. But I know that I don't want to be the reason she doesn't.
I'm going to cry. Thanks, Becky. :)
ReplyDeleteYou're welcome. *hugs* Hang in there.
ReplyDeleteyup. you will have up days and down days in regards to william's development. sometimes you are jumping up and down at something new he's done that you thought he never could, like the example above. and other times you will be in tears looking at other children his age. this happened recently with me and "Taz". yesterday he asked a child at the beach if he could play and what her name was. and he played nicely with her. i was ecstatic! then today i watched him at preschool play alone, oblivious to the kids around him. two little girls walked out of the room arm in arm giggling and i realized i've never seen Taz have that kind of friendship with anyone. i held back the tears and remember the small progress he made yesterday. step by step. day by day. william may or may not ever be like other kids. you'll have to see when he gets older. but that doesn't mean he won't be happy. or enjoy the same quality of life as other children. it may just look different for him. again, if you ever need to talk, throw me a line.
ReplyDeleteI <3 this post.
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